Forgiven in Christ Means Forgiving Others

Forgiveness is something we so eagerly want for ourselves, but have a really hard time giving out to others. I think it's just human nature. When we mess up, we don't want it to be held against us, but oh boy! If someone else messes up we are right there to preserve it in a jar and set it on a shelf to remind them of it every chance we get..... right?

I think it's a way to make ourselves feel better about our own faults if we can say " well remember when you did this last week?" and justify the fact that we aren't perfect but we are better than "so-and-so."

But here is the TRUTH. YOU AREN'T PERFECT. And neither am I. And the fact is, we all desperately need forgiveness every single day. The Bible commands us to forgive, Ephesians 4:32 - "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."

But I think that God knew it wouldn't be enough to just tell us to forgive, so He also gave us consequences if we don't. Mark 11:25 - "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." How can we expect God to forgive us when we aren't willing to forgive others?

When we choose not to forgive, we begin to harbor bitterness, anger, resentment, and even hate for that person. When those emotions are in our heart, God can't abide with us there. I know it for a fact because I've been there... as recently as yesterday. 

I had a battle in my heart that had lasted over a year! Someone in the church had treated me in a "not so Christ like " manner and I held on to that bitterness. I never received an apology. But God was dealing with my heart on the matter, so I finally gave in to Jesus and sent her a text apologizing for my negativity toward her. Because I knew if I didn't ask for forgiveness for my negative behavior, I couldn't expect the Lord to ever help me grow past this point. And it was like a burden was lifted off my shoulders, because I was right with my Savior.

 Asking for forgiveness can be a humbling experience, but it can also solidify that bond between Believers. God tells us in James 5:16- Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

Confess, Forgive, and Pray for each other. It's the true cycle of a relationship. it builds a bond that can't be broken and promotes love instead of discord. (Because we all know women have more issues with that.) Love one another and openly forgive. Your heart will thank you for it!

Happy Tuesday, Lovelies!

Blooming in Love Part 2

So, I haven't blogged in a couple weeks and just remembered that I never wrote part 2 of our love story! So I thought I'd share it with you today:)

On July 13, 2013 (that date was on purpose because I am VERY OCD), I walked down the aisle and committed my life to my best friend. I am a very assertive and independent person naturally and always loved the idea of marriage, but never thought I could settle down and partner up with someone for life. But when you meet your perfect match your idea of your future starts to change.

We were married in a beautiful chapel in Florida. The kind of chapel with stained glass, dark pews, and a HUGE pipe organ. My wedding day was perfect. Literally. Not a single hiccup.

I wore a beautiful vintage lace trumpet style dress with a chapel length veil. I wanted so badly to wear a cathedral length veil, but I also wanted to have my hair up and didn't think my hair could hold the weight of the veil without falling down! I chose magnolia's for the bridesmaid bouquets but I carried a very simple bouquet made of white roses with a blue ribbon intertwined.

I cried through my whole wedding.

I am naturally an emotional person. I put my whole heart and soul into everything I do; so when I am upset,  I cry; frustrated, I cry; unbelievably happy, I cry. Ha ha!

Our wedding was very short. Our ceremony was about 25 minutes. and our reception was a little over an hour. I'm not a social person naturally. I have to work hard when I'm in large groups of people so it seemed best for us to keep it short.

Ok, enough about our wedding.

3 days later real life happened. Joel and I never went on a honeymoon. We decided to save our money and start life with it and wait until we could have a trip that we both wanted. So, we spent the first 3 days of  marriage at my family's house saying goodbyes, and making the most of our last days together.

Then, on July 17th, Joel and I packed up the last of our belongings and made the 600 mile trek to North Carolina. You see, Joel is from North Carolina, and I was offered a teaching position at a private school and I took it. I had never been away from home. I cried all 10 hours of our trip. But I knew we were headed in the right direction.

A couple months before our wedding, Joel had gotten a calling from the Lord to join the North Carolina Highway Patrol.  He had contacted a recruiter and turned in his applications and we were just waiting to hear if he could get an interview or not. We waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited.... you get the picture.

We moved into a small one bedroom apartment. Joel couldn't take on a regular full time job, because once the Highway Patrol calls, you go, immediately. Kinda like the military. So he was working off and on for a man he used to work for in high school doing repairs on rental houses and bringing home about $100 a week. I was teaching at a private school making about $16,000 a year...... You can tell our finances were tight. We lived each week off that $100 that Joel brought home, using it for our gas and groceries. We (thankfully) didn't have any debt at the time and it was a true blessing. But we also didn't have any furniture. We had a bed and two dressers.....

For the first 6 months of our marriage we ate and sat, and talked, and planned our life on the floor of that one bedroom apartment. But if you saw us you'd have thought we were millionaires.

 I had my struggles living so far away from my family, but I had a patient husband who held me through the tears, and kissed away my sadness. I'm happy to say the homesickness starts to go away. I still miss my family 3 years later, but I absolutely LOVE my North Carolina living.

It was about 8 months after we were married and we still hadn't heard from the Highway Patrol. We were getting frustrated and tired of living on a tight budget. And one night Joel had it out with Jesus. He told the Lord in plain words "if the Highway Patrol is where you want me to be, You have to open the door. So do it!"

Not three minutes after He told the Lord, He checked his email and there was a message from the Highway Patrol... "be in Raleigh at (this date/time)."

We cried, we laughed, we thanked the Lord for opening the door. And I have never forgotten that moment. The first time I saw the Lord move and openly work in our life. The Bible directs us to ask, seek, and knock. To pray specific prayers. To tell the Lord exactly what you want. and I'm here to say that it's true. He will tell you and give you what you want if you just ask.

What we didn't know was the struggle that was going to come from being in the Highway Patrol. But I'll write more on that later:) Being a law enforcement wife has it's pros and cons, but nothing compares to knowing that your husband is in the center of God's Will and that, I wouldn't change for anything in the world!

 Happy Friday Y'all!

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

I am a very ambitious thinker. I think most women are until life gets a hold of them. A 9-5 job, meals that have to be prepared, dishes piling up in the sink, bathrooms that need cleaned, children that need attention, and the never ending laundry piles. I find myself stuck in this routine of life, Get up, get dressed, go to work, come home, cook dinner, clean up, go to bed..... But that's not what life is all about.

I was recently challenged by a friend of mine to create a bucket list of things I want to do for myself. No matter how jumbled and crazy it looked or sounded. So I did just that! It took me about a week of serious thought to create a list that included all the random ideas and thoughts that stay in the back of my mind. So here it is:

• Go to cosmetology school ( been my dream since I was 15 yrs. old)
• Take an interior design course
• Learn how to stage houses
• Get my realtor's license
• Create a company of subscription boxes that send women items each month that will help and encourage them in their daily walk with Christ.
• Write a devotional (currently in progress)

So what's yours? Make a bucket list of dreams and post it somewhere. Inspire yourself daily to do something toward accomplishing at least one of those things! It's amazing how in just a week this has motivated me and transformed my way of thinking!

• 
  

Blooming in Love: Part 1

I am madly in love with my best friend.  If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook or stand beside me for more than 30 seconds,  you know just how crazy our life can be sometimes, but I wouldn't trade this adventure for anything! That being said, when I first met Joel I was fresh out of a very broken and confusing and long relationship with a guy that I "thought" was " the one." I was 20 years old, a Junior in college and ready to settle down and get serious. Needless to say, I was a whole lot of broken with a whole lot of confusion. BUT God had better plans for me.

In July of 2010, at the age of 19, and thanks to a family that never gave up on me (props to my sister Megan) I received Christ as my Savior. Within 6 months after that, I lost a lot of things, two of which were: friends that I shouldn't have been associated with, and a boy-man I shouldn't have been dating.  I was battling with self-confidence and learning to love myself the way God intended for us to love ourselves and I swore off dating until I could learn the healthy way to love and be comfortable with myself alone. BUT once again, God had different plans.

2 weeks after my break-up, I was taking interterm classes. Business Statistics in fact. (One of my favorite classes out of my college career and my 4.0 in that class proved it!) When a mutual friend of Joel, me, and surprisingly enough, my ex-boyfriend decided to play match maker.  He convinced this guy he worked with (Joel) to come and meet this girl he was friends with. And one day Joel decided to stop by and meet me...... and I did not like him. Period. No hesitation. I did not like Joel Daniel Best. THE END.......

But God had different plans. Through this mutual friend, and over a period of about a month,  Joel and I exchanged phone numbers and started talking. Maybe once or twice a week. Nothing big. No commitments. And I knew at that point that this guy would make a great friend. Yep. I categorized him into the friend zone. Then one day he invited me to a basketball game on campus. And I said yes.  Then I spent the next week trying to come up with any and every excuse not to go! Even worse, the night  of the game I dragged my best friend (props to Esther for standing by me) with me. I was so nervous. But I was worried for nothing.

That night I did not stop smiling once. We laughed, we talked, I asked "what?" 100 bazillion times because I couldn't understand his North Carolina accent. It was a perfect relaxing night between friends. Yep, I still categorized him into the friend zone.

Fast forward past 3 more basketball game "dates" and to Valentine's Day. Technically we weren't dating, or even close to it. But I still received a large stuffed bear, which I still have, and a card that said " I really, really, really, really, like you."  Talk about cute. But it was what was written inside that meant the most. Joel is not a romantic person (if you don't know him) but he sure tries! The last line of that card read " I think I'm falling in 'like' with you." Well, I was flattered, enjoyed his  company, and still considered him just a friend.

Then one night after church, we were walking back to the dorms and my sister's apartment and he stopped me on the curb beside the huge clock tower in the center of campus and he looked at me and said, "Shelby, I want to date you, BUT, I want you to know I am dating you with the intent that I am going to marry you."

DEEP BREATHE.

I had never had a guy be straight up with me. I got so scared, I just nodded my head in comprehension and basically ran to my sister's apartment to tell her all about it. When she heard me she responded "would you rather a guy date you just to date you or to marry you?" Good point, sis. So when Joel asked me out on our first official solo date, I said "yes." And so the story goes. We dated for 2 Years before getting engaged and 6 months later said "I do." (more on that story later).

 

Our first "official" date

I say all of this to say, single girls and dating girls, If that relationship isn't going to end in marriage, why are you dating him? If he isn't strong in his spiritual life, he isn't ready for you. If you don't worship together, pray together, or talk about Jesus together, his priorities aren't ready for you. Dating without marriage is simply taking a piece of someone's heart and memories that don't belong to you. Those feelings belong to your future spouse. If I could go back and change one thing in my life, I would have waited on God to bring me my spouse instead of going out and looking for him. I wouldn't have given away my feelings, and emotions, and pieces of my heart to someone I wasn't going to marry. I would have prayed about my relationship and not just jumped in with two feet.  Joel never dated before me. He prayed for God to bring him his spouse, and he waited until God gave me to him. It's one thing I appreciate and love the most about my husband. It's never too late to wait on God's perfect match.