Blooming in Love: Part 1

I am madly in love with my best friend.  If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook or stand beside me for more than 30 seconds,  you know just how crazy our life can be sometimes, but I wouldn't trade this adventure for anything! That being said, when I first met Joel I was fresh out of a very broken and confusing and long relationship with a guy that I "thought" was " the one." I was 20 years old, a Junior in college and ready to settle down and get serious. Needless to say, I was a whole lot of broken with a whole lot of confusion. BUT God had better plans for me.

In July of 2010, at the age of 19, and thanks to a family that never gave up on me (props to my sister Megan) I received Christ as my Savior. Within 6 months after that, I lost a lot of things, two of which were: friends that I shouldn't have been associated with, and a boy-man I shouldn't have been dating.  I was battling with self-confidence and learning to love myself the way God intended for us to love ourselves and I swore off dating until I could learn the healthy way to love and be comfortable with myself alone. BUT once again, God had different plans.

2 weeks after my break-up, I was taking interterm classes. Business Statistics in fact. (One of my favorite classes out of my college career and my 4.0 in that class proved it!) When a mutual friend of Joel, me, and surprisingly enough, my ex-boyfriend decided to play match maker.  He convinced this guy he worked with (Joel) to come and meet this girl he was friends with. And one day Joel decided to stop by and meet me...... and I did not like him. Period. No hesitation. I did not like Joel Daniel Best. THE END.......

But God had different plans. Through this mutual friend, and over a period of about a month,  Joel and I exchanged phone numbers and started talking. Maybe once or twice a week. Nothing big. No commitments. And I knew at that point that this guy would make a great friend. Yep. I categorized him into the friend zone. Then one day he invited me to a basketball game on campus. And I said yes.  Then I spent the next week trying to come up with any and every excuse not to go! Even worse, the night  of the game I dragged my best friend (props to Esther for standing by me) with me. I was so nervous. But I was worried for nothing.

That night I did not stop smiling once. We laughed, we talked, I asked "what?" 100 bazillion times because I couldn't understand his North Carolina accent. It was a perfect relaxing night between friends. Yep, I still categorized him into the friend zone.

Fast forward past 3 more basketball game "dates" and to Valentine's Day. Technically we weren't dating, or even close to it. But I still received a large stuffed bear, which I still have, and a card that said " I really, really, really, really, like you."  Talk about cute. But it was what was written inside that meant the most. Joel is not a romantic person (if you don't know him) but he sure tries! The last line of that card read " I think I'm falling in 'like' with you." Well, I was flattered, enjoyed his  company, and still considered him just a friend.

Then one night after church, we were walking back to the dorms and my sister's apartment and he stopped me on the curb beside the huge clock tower in the center of campus and he looked at me and said, "Shelby, I want to date you, BUT, I want you to know I am dating you with the intent that I am going to marry you."

DEEP BREATHE.

I had never had a guy be straight up with me. I got so scared, I just nodded my head in comprehension and basically ran to my sister's apartment to tell her all about it. When she heard me she responded "would you rather a guy date you just to date you or to marry you?" Good point, sis. So when Joel asked me out on our first official solo date, I said "yes." And so the story goes. We dated for 2 Years before getting engaged and 6 months later said "I do." (more on that story later).

 

Our first "official" date

I say all of this to say, single girls and dating girls, If that relationship isn't going to end in marriage, why are you dating him? If he isn't strong in his spiritual life, he isn't ready for you. If you don't worship together, pray together, or talk about Jesus together, his priorities aren't ready for you. Dating without marriage is simply taking a piece of someone's heart and memories that don't belong to you. Those feelings belong to your future spouse. If I could go back and change one thing in my life, I would have waited on God to bring me my spouse instead of going out and looking for him. I wouldn't have given away my feelings, and emotions, and pieces of my heart to someone I wasn't going to marry. I would have prayed about my relationship and not just jumped in with two feet.  Joel never dated before me. He prayed for God to bring him his spouse, and he waited until God gave me to him. It's one thing I appreciate and love the most about my husband. It's never too late to wait on God's perfect match.